Putt O'Nyos

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join my tasting group!

In this is my tasting group on May 2, 2013 at 6:03 pm

Fact: of the nine new wine tasting groups that are formed every day in New York City, roughly six of them are no more than a wine-geek circle jerk. Fact: blind tastings, a favourite exercise of such groups, have the same “fun” and “educational” quotient as driver’s ed. Egos are honed more than palates and shouting matches inevitably erupt over who correctly identified the vintage of the Chilean carmenère. Participants may possess some sense of perspective and context – it’s Chilean carmenère and that was a lucky guess, you toolbox – but they are painfully unaware of their lack of the bona fide sort. 

Which is why you should join my tasting group!

Who needs to taste – or even discuss – grower Champagne when you can complain about the people you serve?

But Putt, you say, I already do that – be it behind their backs or at the dive bar across the street after my shift.

True true. But doesn’t it feel so much more civilized and legitimate when we vent together? I say, let’s bitch and taste and call it Education!

To this end I have prepared several discussion topics! Take a look!

Topic One – Malbec

Part I. No But Seriously, Why Does Everyone Go Apeshit Over This Stuff

(expected duration: 2.5 minutes)

Part II. How to Effectively Hide your Sneer when Guests Ask for Malbec

(expected duration: 2.5 hours)

Topic Two – Why Obscurity Equals Quality, Even When it Doesn’t: An Exploration of Pelaverga, Agioritiko & Negrette

Topic Three – Blind Tasting of Gruner: An Experiment in Masochism

Topic Four – What is True Chablis?

Part I. Theory: Kimmeridgian Marl versus Portlandian Limestone  (session ends in collective celebratory embrace and high-fives)

Part II. Putting Theory Into Practice: Communicating the Terroir of Chablis to Guests (session ends in collective consolatory embrace and weeping prompted by guest’s response, “I don’t want Chab-liss, I want chardonnay.”)

Topic Five – On Brettanymoces: “Crafted Peasant Elegance” and How to Effectively Use it to Silence Guests Who Ask for Something “Dry” and “Funky.”

Topic Six – Wine Trends

Part I. I Always Thought Orange Wine Was Gross

Part II. Don’t Lie, You Were Totally Into It.

Part III. Just Like You Wouldn’t Shut Up About Pet-Nats?

Part IV. Fair Enough. Let’s Let Bygones be Bygones and Drink Some Manzanilla

Topic Seven – Anticipating/Creating Future Trends: “Bitch Diesel” No More! Reclaiming Kiwi Sauvignon Blanc

Topic Eight – Montepulciano d’Abruzzo: Of All the Things in The Wine World, You Specifically Ask for That?

These are by no means exhaustive. Rather, I like to think of them as a starting point in a debate in which we will all almost definitely agree with each other. That’s how we become Better Tasters, and consequently, Better Human Beings.

So join my tasting group today! We will taste and talk and learn and drink, all in the hopes of becoming that guy – you know, the one that makes even the most passionate and dedicated wine-drinker vehemently despise wine.