Putt O'Nyos

in defense of Putt

In Putt Ponders on May 16, 2013 at 5:42 pm

If I had a nickel for every time someone asked me the following questions, I would have, well, no nickels. No matter. I have answered them anyway, in hopes of shedding some light on my character.

If you were a grape, what would be?

Gee, I thought you’d never ask.

I’m tempted to say I would be aglianico: if left to my own devices I’ll go off on long tangents that do not ultimately produce anything of quality. I need to be reined in, and that’s just the start of it. At best I can be dark and concentrated, though my appeal is not immediately apparent. Just give me some time. I’m quite sour and definitely bitter, and while there’s the potential for elegance, I’m not nebbiolo. I’m lesser known and even harder to love – but when you get me, you get me. Also, you probably can’t pronounce my name correctly.

In truth, though, I’m more like lambrusco – grasparossa, if you must – in its traditional sense (not in its current faddish frenzy.) To be properly enjoyed I must be considered in the proper context, a not-so-serious one. I should be taken for what I am: a dry bit of froth that is mostly refreshing rather than challenging. I’m obnoxious when I become immodest and strive to be the latter. Most importantly, I go great with pork fat.

What do you think of the upcoming documentary Somm?

I cried the first time I drank Tokaji Eszencia. I cry every time someone asks for a “dry red.” And I cried when I watched the Somm trailer.

That seems harsh.  

Does it? I mean, really. “Insufferable” does not even begin to describe how those guys come across. And that’s coming from me, mind you. It’s one thing to recognize how ridiculous or condescending you sound (I do.) But those guys have reached a level that’s dangerously out of touch with reality. I’ll pass. 


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: